I can’t believe it has been 3 1/2 months since the day that changed my life forever. June 15, 2012. That day was a day that will forever be engraved into my soul, not only because it was mine and Scotty’s 25th wedding anniversary but because I literally felt the heaven’s open and what can only be described as an honest to goodness miracle, happened before my very eyes.
My 17 year old daughter Paige had surgery on her knee early that morning. ACL reconstruction for the second time in 11 months. The surgery went really well. While Paige was in recovery she was having a hard time breathing. I had to keep reminding her to breathe, her respiration kept dropping and her oxygen saturation levels kept dropping below 40. She was in alot of pain and was receiving pain meds into her IV. After about 2 hours in recovery the nurse finally put her on oxygen to get her saturation levels to rise. With oxygen it finally came up to 100%. They said she was good to go, gave us instructions and sent her home. We put her in the back seat of our car, laying her across the back with her head behind me in the passenger seat. A pillow tucked gently under her head. While we drove home, she asked her dad to please turn down the radio and to please take the bumps easy because it hurt her knee. I reached back and took the bright green bandage wrap off from around her wrist where her IV had been. Several minutes had passed, I texted Brooke to let her know we were on our way home. She was going to meet us at the house. Brooke called her dad and he asked if she could pick up a few things.
While talking to Brooke, she said she would pick up a Jamba or Roxberry and asked what flavor Paige would like. I turned to ask Paige what flavor she would like and what I saw will never be erased from my mind. I saw Paige with her head tipped forward, her lips were completely blue and her face was a color I have never seen before in my life. She was a molten gray that I somehow knew immediately was death. My heart sank and I was filled with a fear that raged through my entire body. I yelled to Scotty, “she is BLUE, Scotty I don’t think she is breathing!!!” “oh my gosh, she is blue!!!” Scotty was still talking on the phone with Brooke, he said “hold on, hold on” and quickly looked back at Paige. He asked if she was breathing, I told him “NO, she is not breathing!!”
We were on the freeway at this time and Scotty quickly pulled the car off to the side of the road and yelled “call 911”. Without hesitation he ran around the back of the car and threw open the back door. I had taken off my seat belt and practically climbed into the back seat, trying to hold Paige’s head up. As he threw open the door, Paige literally fell limp backwards out the door. Scotty caught her under her shoulders and drug her right out of the back of the car and onto the asphalt. The very hot asphalt. I saw him check her carotid artery for a pulse, he yelled “she has no pulse, call 911.” I was screaming her name and could not believe this was happening. I felt and knew in my heart that she was dead. I was crying and screaming and begging for her to come back. As I tried to call 911, I could see my husband kneeling over our precious daughter giving her chest compressions and counting and screaming her name “Paige, Paige, please breathe, Paige, please come back, Paige, please, please.”
I was on the phone with 911, well what I thought was 911, and telling them, “my daughter is 17, she just had surgery, we were bringing her home, we are on I-15 South bound at the point of the mountain, she is not breathing and has no pulse, my husband is doing CPR on her, please help!!” When the girl on the other end of the line said “ma’am, this is Hospice 911, I will relay your message to 911, but you should keep trying.” What????!!! As I continued to try to dial 911 my phone kept calling 911 hospice, I remembered I had programmed the hospice 911 into my phone for when my mom was dying and that was the emergency number they asked us to call. I was in a pure panic and a hysterical state. I felt as though my entire body was numb and yet at the same time, I could feel with every fiber of my being a pain that went deep into my bones. My husband still doing CPR on our daughter, I could see her arms bouncing off the hot asphalt with each compression he gave her and still NO life in her at all. I was still screaming out her name “Paige, Paige, please come back to us, Paige please, oh gosh, this can’t be happening.” I ran over and knelt down by her head and called her name begging for her to breathe. Jumping back up to try to wave down someone, anyone that would stop to help. A gentleman (Jerry North) came running over to where Paige was laid out. I could see he was a big guy with a gentle air about him, he immediately knelt down at Paige’s head and began giving her mouth to mouth as Scotty continued to do compressions. Still counting and calling out her name. I could not believe this was happening, I felt as though I was going to be sick. I was shaking so bad, my chest felt like it was going to explode and my knees were weak. I dropped to my knees in the rocks and the dirt right there on the side of the freeway. I began to plead with my Heavenly Father to please bring Paige back to us, that our family needed her and she can’t go. “Please God, don’t take our baby, please let her live, please, please, oh please.” I felt so helpless, scared and terrified. I wondered if this was really happening. Each time I glanced over at Paige, I could still see the horrible gray, I was reminded that, yes, this really is happening. I remember thinking how incredible my husband was to keep his wits about him, to be able to know what to do, to do CPR on his own baby girl. I do remember having the distinct feeling that Heaven was opened up and so many angels both seen and unseen were there assisting in reviving Paige. I felt that even with all the emotional trauma that we were feeling and the horrific experience that was happening, I somehow felt a shield of protection around my chest and I knew without a doubt that our Heavenly Father was there. He knows each and every one of us, he knows our needs at all times and he is always there, always. He never leaves us, ever!! I knew that without a doubt he was with us and he was in control.
I felt like I was running around like a lunatic, definitely not in control. Trying to wave down traffic and begging for Heavenly Father to send help. By this time so much time had passed and I still didn’t think 911 had been notified. I called Brooke’s number and as fast as I could get it out I told her, “Brooke, I can’t get through to 911, please call them and tell them Paige is not breathing, she has NO pulse, dad is doing CPR on her and a guy is giving her breaths, she is not responding. We are Southbound on I-15 at the point of the mountain. Please hurry and call them.” I could see that a couple had pulled over onto the shoulder and were running towards me, I told Brooke that I had to go. All I could think about was that somebody needed to please call 911, please.
I began to rattle off to them in a very panicked voice, what had happened and to please call 911. The husband (Scott Perry) grabbed me and wrapped his gentle arms around me and held me tight, he said “don’t worry, 911 has been called, everything will be ok.” I was sobbing into his chest and crying out in so much disbelief. His wife then came over to me after doing a quick check of Paige and told her husband to go over there. I turned to go as well and he held me and said, “I don’t think you should go over there, you don’t want to see this.” I said, “I am her mother, I have to be near her and she has to hear my voice, please, I have to go to her.” As we turned around I could see a gentleman in scrubs running over to where Scotty and Paige were. He had a “football” air bag and took over breathing for Jerry. Scotty still doing compressions and Paige’s body still gray and flopping around with the jolts. I remember thinking, “she must be so hot on that asphalt, my baby cannot just lay there on the asphalt.” And at the same time, the pillow that had been tucked gently under her head was now placed ever so perfectly under her knee, as if someone had placed it there on purpose. I realize now that as Scotty pulled her out of the back seat, it rolled down under her knee. It is amazing what goes through your mind and how fast things begin to come in and then back out. I wondered how our family could ever go on without Paigie. She is such a huge part of our family and makes us laugh all the time. How could we possibly not have her? I would miss her singing and how would this affect her sweet sisters? They are all so close and this would not be good for them, this would devastate us all. I began to think about having to plan a funeral. How could I possibly plan a funeral for my own precious Paigie. Who would sing?? I love to hear Paige sing. I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this. I then again dropped to my knees in the dirt and rocks and prayed some more. Pleading again with our Heavenly Father to “please bring Paige back. Please let her stay and please don’t take her from our family. Please, please Heavenly Father, please!!!!” “I want to see her get married and have kids and do important things.”
There was a sweet lady that I did not know, who kept hugging me and trying to comfort me. I kept trying to read her name on her badge, I wanted to know her name and she said “I am just a real estate agent, no one special.” If she could only know the special person that she was to me on the side of the road that day. She was not just a real estate agent, but an angel from God.
Still in complete shock and trauma, I looked up to see a Trooper (Trooper Romeo Martinez) come running over to where Scotty was, he said, “Sir, I know you are exhausted, let me take over” Scotty refused, he had been going for over 10 minutes by this time and he was a mess. Still crying, counting and begging for Paige to breathe. After a couple more minutes he told Scotty to step back and let him take over. Exhausted and completely emotionally drained Scotty stood up and walked over to me and without saying a word we both knew in our hearts our baby was dead. We collapsed into each others arms and cried and cried and felt so helpless, we both could not believe that this was happening to us. Scotty dropped to his knees in the dirt and rocks and began to plead with Heavenly Father.
The paramedics finally got there, which seemed to take forever, coming onto the freeway in the opposite direction of traffic. I could hear the screaming sirens and see the flashing lights, which was only a reminder of the screaming panic that was happening within my soul. My Paigie was still not breathing and still had no pulse. The paramedics rushed around her putting a tube down her throat to intubate her and continued with the compressions. I could see them working feverishly around her, she was still that horrible gray color. Scotty just held me in his arms and I was so thankful that I wasn’t alone, that my sweet husband was there with me. I buried my head into his chest and we both just cried and cried.
Scott and Rachel kept coming over to Scotty and I and reassuring us that the paramedics were doing everything possible to revive Paige. They would hold us and just share in our grief. The disbelief and horror of what was happening to Paige was unbearable. I didn’t think there would be anyway we could possibly move on. How could we?
It seemed like time just kept going and going and I felt at any moment they were going to tell us there was nothing more they could do, that it wasn’t working. I didn’t want them to stop. I needed Paige. I kept screaming her name and begging and pleading with Heavenly Father to please let her come back to us.
I heard Someone say they have a pulse, What?!! Rachel ran over to the paramedics bending over Paige and then came running back to us, wrapping her arms around us, she said, “you guys, they have a pulse, they have a pulse on her!” Oh my gosh! It took a minute or so for that to truly sink in, the pure joy and relief that rushed over Scotty and I was indescribable. Although, hard to believe, we both burst out into more tears and gratitude for life, for Paige’s life. I remember thinking how grateful I was for Rachel. I could feel her genuine love and concern for us, total strangers to her, and yet she was a sister in Zion to me. Her spirit was so comforting.
They began to put Paige onto a board and prepare to transport her in the ambulance. Before I knew it, a couple of paramedics took me and began asking so many questions. They carried Paige past me and I gently kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. I still could not see that she was breathing or talking. I needed to see her breathe. I needed to hear her talk. She was, thank goodness, not that horrifying gray color though, which was so good.
I worried about where my husband was and the paramedic assured me that they were bringing him too. I kept asking if she was okay. I was trying so hard to see into the back of the ambulance where they had Paige, I needed to see her. All I could see through the little square hole were paramedics still working feverishly around her body. I called my daughter Brooke to tell her to get a hold of Chanise and to let her know that we were on our way to the hospital, that her dad had to do CPR on Paige, I was trying to explain what had happened, I couldn’t find the words through all the shock and tears, I didn’t even know what hospital we were headed to. The paramedic that was driving took the phone from me and explained to Brooke where she needed to go. I then heard from the back Paige cry out, what a relief that was, I began to sob. The paramedic told me “that is a good sign” I said, “I know” it was like hearing a newborn baby cry. The joy that brings to a parents heart is incredible. I was so happy to hear her cry. I just wanted to hold her. I said a little prayer in my heart of gratitude to our Heavenly Father for allowing Paige to be brought back to us. What a precious gift. I am so grateful to all of those souls who stopped to help revive Paige and for those that stopped just to help comfort. For those that were so willing to place themselves in God’s hands so that he could perform the miracles that took place that day. I have no doubt that we were in the presence of divinity and angels both seen and unseen. I could feel our Savior and the heavens literally open up. It was a strange experience, so horrific, traumatizing, painful and glorious all at the same time.
My 17 year old daughter Paige had surgery on her knee early that morning. ACL reconstruction for the second time in 11 months. The surgery went really well. While Paige was in recovery she was having a hard time breathing. I had to keep reminding her to breathe, her respiration kept dropping and her oxygen saturation levels kept dropping below 40. She was in alot of pain and was receiving pain meds into her IV. After about 2 hours in recovery the nurse finally put her on oxygen to get her saturation levels to rise. With oxygen it finally came up to 100%. They said she was good to go, gave us instructions and sent her home. We put her in the back seat of our car, laying her across the back with her head behind me in the passenger seat. A pillow tucked gently under her head. While we drove home, she asked her dad to please turn down the radio and to please take the bumps easy because it hurt her knee. I reached back and took the bright green bandage wrap off from around her wrist where her IV had been. Several minutes had passed, I texted Brooke to let her know we were on our way home. She was going to meet us at the house. Brooke called her dad and he asked if she could pick up a few things.
While talking to Brooke, she said she would pick up a Jamba or Roxberry and asked what flavor Paige would like. I turned to ask Paige what flavor she would like and what I saw will never be erased from my mind. I saw Paige with her head tipped forward, her lips were completely blue and her face was a color I have never seen before in my life. She was a molten gray that I somehow knew immediately was death. My heart sank and I was filled with a fear that raged through my entire body. I yelled to Scotty, “she is BLUE, Scotty I don’t think she is breathing!!!” “oh my gosh, she is blue!!!” Scotty was still talking on the phone with Brooke, he said “hold on, hold on” and quickly looked back at Paige. He asked if she was breathing, I told him “NO, she is not breathing!!”
We were on the freeway at this time and Scotty quickly pulled the car off to the side of the road and yelled “call 911”. Without hesitation he ran around the back of the car and threw open the back door. I had taken off my seat belt and practically climbed into the back seat, trying to hold Paige’s head up. As he threw open the door, Paige literally fell limp backwards out the door. Scotty caught her under her shoulders and drug her right out of the back of the car and onto the asphalt. The very hot asphalt. I saw him check her carotid artery for a pulse, he yelled “she has no pulse, call 911.” I was screaming her name and could not believe this was happening. I felt and knew in my heart that she was dead. I was crying and screaming and begging for her to come back. As I tried to call 911, I could see my husband kneeling over our precious daughter giving her chest compressions and counting and screaming her name “Paige, Paige, please breathe, Paige, please come back, Paige, please, please.”
I was on the phone with 911, well what I thought was 911, and telling them, “my daughter is 17, she just had surgery, we were bringing her home, we are on I-15 South bound at the point of the mountain, she is not breathing and has no pulse, my husband is doing CPR on her, please help!!” When the girl on the other end of the line said “ma’am, this is Hospice 911, I will relay your message to 911, but you should keep trying.” What????!!! As I continued to try to dial 911 my phone kept calling 911 hospice, I remembered I had programmed the hospice 911 into my phone for when my mom was dying and that was the emergency number they asked us to call. I was in a pure panic and a hysterical state. I felt as though my entire body was numb and yet at the same time, I could feel with every fiber of my being a pain that went deep into my bones. My husband still doing CPR on our daughter, I could see her arms bouncing off the hot asphalt with each compression he gave her and still NO life in her at all. I was still screaming out her name “Paige, Paige, please come back to us, Paige please, oh gosh, this can’t be happening.” I ran over and knelt down by her head and called her name begging for her to breathe. Jumping back up to try to wave down someone, anyone that would stop to help. A gentleman (Jerry North) came running over to where Paige was laid out. I could see he was a big guy with a gentle air about him, he immediately knelt down at Paige’s head and began giving her mouth to mouth as Scotty continued to do compressions. Still counting and calling out her name. I could not believe this was happening, I felt as though I was going to be sick. I was shaking so bad, my chest felt like it was going to explode and my knees were weak. I dropped to my knees in the rocks and the dirt right there on the side of the freeway. I began to plead with my Heavenly Father to please bring Paige back to us, that our family needed her and she can’t go. “Please God, don’t take our baby, please let her live, please, please, oh please.” I felt so helpless, scared and terrified. I wondered if this was really happening. Each time I glanced over at Paige, I could still see the horrible gray, I was reminded that, yes, this really is happening. I remember thinking how incredible my husband was to keep his wits about him, to be able to know what to do, to do CPR on his own baby girl. I do remember having the distinct feeling that Heaven was opened up and so many angels both seen and unseen were there assisting in reviving Paige. I felt that even with all the emotional trauma that we were feeling and the horrific experience that was happening, I somehow felt a shield of protection around my chest and I knew without a doubt that our Heavenly Father was there. He knows each and every one of us, he knows our needs at all times and he is always there, always. He never leaves us, ever!! I knew that without a doubt he was with us and he was in control.
I felt like I was running around like a lunatic, definitely not in control. Trying to wave down traffic and begging for Heavenly Father to send help. By this time so much time had passed and I still didn’t think 911 had been notified. I called Brooke’s number and as fast as I could get it out I told her, “Brooke, I can’t get through to 911, please call them and tell them Paige is not breathing, she has NO pulse, dad is doing CPR on her and a guy is giving her breaths, she is not responding. We are Southbound on I-15 at the point of the mountain. Please hurry and call them.” I could see that a couple had pulled over onto the shoulder and were running towards me, I told Brooke that I had to go. All I could think about was that somebody needed to please call 911, please.
I began to rattle off to them in a very panicked voice, what had happened and to please call 911. The husband (Scott Perry) grabbed me and wrapped his gentle arms around me and held me tight, he said “don’t worry, 911 has been called, everything will be ok.” I was sobbing into his chest and crying out in so much disbelief. His wife then came over to me after doing a quick check of Paige and told her husband to go over there. I turned to go as well and he held me and said, “I don’t think you should go over there, you don’t want to see this.” I said, “I am her mother, I have to be near her and she has to hear my voice, please, I have to go to her.” As we turned around I could see a gentleman in scrubs running over to where Scotty and Paige were. He had a “football” air bag and took over breathing for Jerry. Scotty still doing compressions and Paige’s body still gray and flopping around with the jolts. I remember thinking, “she must be so hot on that asphalt, my baby cannot just lay there on the asphalt.” And at the same time, the pillow that had been tucked gently under her head was now placed ever so perfectly under her knee, as if someone had placed it there on purpose. I realize now that as Scotty pulled her out of the back seat, it rolled down under her knee. It is amazing what goes through your mind and how fast things begin to come in and then back out. I wondered how our family could ever go on without Paigie. She is such a huge part of our family and makes us laugh all the time. How could we possibly not have her? I would miss her singing and how would this affect her sweet sisters? They are all so close and this would not be good for them, this would devastate us all. I began to think about having to plan a funeral. How could I possibly plan a funeral for my own precious Paigie. Who would sing?? I love to hear Paige sing. I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this. I then again dropped to my knees in the dirt and rocks and prayed some more. Pleading again with our Heavenly Father to “please bring Paige back. Please let her stay and please don’t take her from our family. Please, please Heavenly Father, please!!!!” “I want to see her get married and have kids and do important things.”
There was a sweet lady that I did not know, who kept hugging me and trying to comfort me. I kept trying to read her name on her badge, I wanted to know her name and she said “I am just a real estate agent, no one special.” If she could only know the special person that she was to me on the side of the road that day. She was not just a real estate agent, but an angel from God.
Still in complete shock and trauma, I looked up to see a Trooper (Trooper Romeo Martinez) come running over to where Scotty was, he said, “Sir, I know you are exhausted, let me take over” Scotty refused, he had been going for over 10 minutes by this time and he was a mess. Still crying, counting and begging for Paige to breathe. After a couple more minutes he told Scotty to step back and let him take over. Exhausted and completely emotionally drained Scotty stood up and walked over to me and without saying a word we both knew in our hearts our baby was dead. We collapsed into each others arms and cried and cried and felt so helpless, we both could not believe that this was happening to us. Scotty dropped to his knees in the dirt and rocks and began to plead with Heavenly Father.
The paramedics finally got there, which seemed to take forever, coming onto the freeway in the opposite direction of traffic. I could hear the screaming sirens and see the flashing lights, which was only a reminder of the screaming panic that was happening within my soul. My Paigie was still not breathing and still had no pulse. The paramedics rushed around her putting a tube down her throat to intubate her and continued with the compressions. I could see them working feverishly around her, she was still that horrible gray color. Scotty just held me in his arms and I was so thankful that I wasn’t alone, that my sweet husband was there with me. I buried my head into his chest and we both just cried and cried.
Scott and Rachel kept coming over to Scotty and I and reassuring us that the paramedics were doing everything possible to revive Paige. They would hold us and just share in our grief. The disbelief and horror of what was happening to Paige was unbearable. I didn’t think there would be anyway we could possibly move on. How could we?
It seemed like time just kept going and going and I felt at any moment they were going to tell us there was nothing more they could do, that it wasn’t working. I didn’t want them to stop. I needed Paige. I kept screaming her name and begging and pleading with Heavenly Father to please let her come back to us.
I heard Someone say they have a pulse, What?!! Rachel ran over to the paramedics bending over Paige and then came running back to us, wrapping her arms around us, she said, “you guys, they have a pulse, they have a pulse on her!” Oh my gosh! It took a minute or so for that to truly sink in, the pure joy and relief that rushed over Scotty and I was indescribable. Although, hard to believe, we both burst out into more tears and gratitude for life, for Paige’s life. I remember thinking how grateful I was for Rachel. I could feel her genuine love and concern for us, total strangers to her, and yet she was a sister in Zion to me. Her spirit was so comforting.
They began to put Paige onto a board and prepare to transport her in the ambulance. Before I knew it, a couple of paramedics took me and began asking so many questions. They carried Paige past me and I gently kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. I still could not see that she was breathing or talking. I needed to see her breathe. I needed to hear her talk. She was, thank goodness, not that horrifying gray color though, which was so good.
I worried about where my husband was and the paramedic assured me that they were bringing him too. I kept asking if she was okay. I was trying so hard to see into the back of the ambulance where they had Paige, I needed to see her. All I could see through the little square hole were paramedics still working feverishly around her body. I called my daughter Brooke to tell her to get a hold of Chanise and to let her know that we were on our way to the hospital, that her dad had to do CPR on Paige, I was trying to explain what had happened, I couldn’t find the words through all the shock and tears, I didn’t even know what hospital we were headed to. The paramedic that was driving took the phone from me and explained to Brooke where she needed to go. I then heard from the back Paige cry out, what a relief that was, I began to sob. The paramedic told me “that is a good sign” I said, “I know” it was like hearing a newborn baby cry. The joy that brings to a parents heart is incredible. I was so happy to hear her cry. I just wanted to hold her. I said a little prayer in my heart of gratitude to our Heavenly Father for allowing Paige to be brought back to us. What a precious gift. I am so grateful to all of those souls who stopped to help revive Paige and for those that stopped just to help comfort. For those that were so willing to place themselves in God’s hands so that he could perform the miracles that took place that day. I have no doubt that we were in the presence of divinity and angels both seen and unseen. I could feel our Savior and the heavens literally open up. It was a strange experience, so horrific, traumatizing, painful and glorious all at the same time.
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| Paige Raab |
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| Scott and Tonya Raab |
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